Forever Gone
by Br0kenChim3ra
Summary: Roy sent the Fullmetal Alchemist to East City to investigate an incident with Scar. When the Elrics don't return when they were told to, the colonel starts to worry. Roy ventures to the brothers' dorm to see if they did return. But what Roy finds at their door was something he would never want to see... Parental!RoyEd, character deaths, and other angst-y stuff I'll get flamed for.
1. Prologue

_Um, yes. Another fic by me. I'm sorry! I just keep getting these ideas...and I have to get them out sometime...but don't worry, once I find motivation for my others, I will update them ASAP! I just really never have time to write stuff anymore..._

_And yes, I changed my pen name __**again.**__ I'm sorry! But I'm 95% sure I'll be sticking with this one for a long while! For those of you who don't know, I used to be __**Pervy-Soulmetal-Alchemist.**_

_Oh, and please read the author's note and the end of this fic! I have an important announcement that I would like you to hear!_

_Well anyways, here is my new fic, which is my first Fullmetal Alchemist fic that's not a crossover. I hope I did well!_

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, which I don't, Winry would barely be part of the anime._**

* * *

**Forever Gone**

**Full summary: **_Roy sent the Fullmetal Alchemist, along with his brother, to investigate an incident with Scar. When the Elrics don't return when they were told to, the colonel starts to worry. Three days after the deadline, Roy ventures to the brothers' dorm to see if they did return. But what Roy finds at their door was something he would never want to see..._

**Focus(es):** _Parental!RoyXEd, character deaths, and other angst-y things that will probably earn me some flames._

* * *

**Chapter 1: ****_Prologue_**

He couldn't take it any longer. The pain, the guilt, it all overwhelmed him. He felt weak, utterly, undeniably weak. He just wanted it to end, all of this suffering.

_What did I do to deserve this? Where was the Equivalent Exchange in all this? Why does it have to be me?_

**_Because you ruined lives, and broke promises. Because of you, there are others who suffer and—_**

_Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!_

He fell off the bed he refused to leave for days, frantically arguing with some unknown voice in his head.

**_Face it, you are the source of everyone's problems. People die and suffer because of you—_**

_I said SHUT UP!_

He covered his ears, trying to get the voice to stop. But no matter what he tried, it wouldn't shut the hell up.

_Please…go away…_

He choked on a hidden sob.

_Please…_

His eyes started to burn.

_I'm sorry…_

He curled into a ball on the hard, wooden floor.

_Please…I'm sorry…forgive me…please…_

The tears flowed, and he did not try to stop them. The soft wails of never-ending pain and sorrow came out. He deserved to be weak. He deserved to suffer.

_I deserve to die._

* * *

Read. Scribble. Swipe. Repeat.

Read. Scribble. Swipe. Repeat.

The routine continued in a never-ending cycle. And even though hours passed, the stack of dreaded papers with words never seemed to get smaller.

In fact, Roy could've sworn it got _bigger_.

And it only adds to his problems. The biggest having something to do with a certain blonde-haired, short, stubbo—

_SNAP._

"Dammit!" Roy shouted, throwing his hands away from his desk and the ink that leaked everywhere on his desk. Who knew he had the strength to snap a pen in half? The black ink spread around his desk, and ruining quite a large number of paperwork.

"Sir," Hawkeye spoke, "I'll make some copies of your paperwork. Just please get a towel to clean this up." She walked over to his desk, picked up the papers that weren't contaminated by ink, threw the others in the trash, and walked out of the colonel's office.

The black-haired man let out an exasperated sigh, then made a move to stand up when his phone went off. Another sigh was let out, and he picked up the phone.

"Colonel Roy Musta—"

_"Have you seen our new family pictures yet? Elicia looks so cute in her new dress!"_

Roy's eyebrow began to twitch. "Hughes. You better be calling me for a good reason, or I swear—"

_"Relax, I have some information related to Edward's absence."_

Roy blinked a couple times. He sent the Fullmetal Alchemist on a mission to East City relating to Scar. He was supposed to do an investigation, and then come back in three days. But Edward and Alphonse haven't showed up, and it's been three days past their deadline. "Lay it on me."

_"There was a part of East City that was completely destroyed. Looked like there was alchemy involved. There were pillars of stone everywhere, plus a large amount of broken metal in places. There was also blood…" _ Hughes started to trail off.

"What else was there?"

_"Well, we found Scar. But he was dead, colonel. Completely _mutilated_. I'm surprised they were able to identify the body."_

_Scar is dead? _That was something Roy thought he would _never_ hear. "And no sign of the Elrics?"

_"Ed's jacket was found, torn to shreds. But that was it."_

"It sounds like they battled out there. And you said there were bits of metal in some places?"

_"Yes."_

"It could've been Ed's automail…" Roy trailed off, running many ideas of where the brothers could be through his mind_. They could be as Resembool, but I already tried to contact the Rockbells earlier today. They said that they haven't seen them around, so that crosses that off the list._ Roy couldn't think of anywhere else they would be, except back at their dorm. _Maybe they just got back today, and forgot to call or something…no, Alphonse would call as soon as they got back. But…_

"Hughes, I'm going to go to their dorm. Meet me there." Before he could get any reply, Roy slammed the phone onto the receiver. He grabbed his black over-coat (usually he wouldn't bring it, but it was raining and just being a little wet made him feel so goddamn useless) and made his way out of Central H.Q.

* * *

_Just a few more steps. _Roy thought to himself as he made his way to the Elric brothers' dorm. _Those damn kids better be there. _

When Roy reached the door, he knocked a couple times.

"Fullmetal, it's the colonel. Are you in there?" No answer. "Fullmetal?" He knocked again, and still received no answer. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. "Alright, I'm coming in." Mustang turned the doorknob and stepped into the dorm. The light was off, so he flicked it on.

It was surprisingly tidy. Roy was half expecting for it to be a mess, but then again, Al _is _sort of the organized type. If it was just Ed, maybe then it would be a bit messy.

Even for a dorm, the living room was quite spacious. It had a three-person sofa and a recliner, with a stand and lamp is between. On the other side of the chair was a bookshelf, chock full of books, probably alchemy books, and a couple more books lying around. Covering most of the hardwood floor was a grayish-white rug that every dorm had. On another wall were two doors, one probably being a bathroom and another being a bedroom.

Since the lights were off when Roy walked in, he figured no one was here. _So much for that, _he thought bitterly. Roy was about to turn around and leave when he heard a noise coming from another room. It sounded like something fell and hit the ground.

The colonel figured it came from the dorm next door, so once again he shrugged it off. That was, until he saw a familiar blue light flash from under the door on the right. Roy then knew that he wasn't alone in the apartment.

Mustang stepped quickly to the door and didn't hesitate to open it.

But as soon as he opened it, he wished he hadn't.

* * *

_I ended on yet another cliffie eFTe Man, I seriously like to make you guys suffer, don't I? Don't worry, I'm already starting on the next chapter. I just want to make a cover picture for this fic first, since I already have it drawn out eue If you're lucky, the next chapter might be up tonight._

_Also, I have a very important announcement. I'm going to Shuto Con at Lansing, MI in April with __**IwubSoulEaterEvans**__. I really wanna meet some of you guys IRL, so I can chat about whatever comes up and stuff! So seriously, if any of you are gonna be there, look for me! Or look for the 5'7" Edward Elric (thats me XD) walking around with Maka Albarn. XDDDD_

_Alright, laterz~_


	2. To Live or Die

_All right! The next chapter is up! Sorry about the OOCness, but if this story's gonna work, then you'll have to deal with it! Hopefully the Parental!RoyEd fluffiness will make up for the all the angst and depressing shit in this chappie .3._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ Seriously, if I owned this damned series, Ed would definitely not be straight...ehehehe...yeah...*hides behind Olivier Armstrong*_

* * *

**Forever Gone**

**Full summary: **_Roy sent the Fullmetal Alchemist, along with his brother, to investigate an incident with Scar. When the Elrics don't return when they were told to, the colonel starts to worry. Three days after the deadline, Roy ventures to the the brothers' dorm to see if they did return. But what Roy finds at their door was something he would never want to see…_

**Focus(es): **_Parental!RoyEd, character deaths, and other angst-y things that will probably earn me some flames._

* * *

**Chapter 2: ****_To Live or Die_**

Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, had seen some pretty fucked up stuff in his lifetime. He'd seen war, which was living hell. And because of that war, he thought he had seen the world at its worst.

Roy couldn't have been more wrong in his life.

In the center of the room sits the Fullmetal Alchemist on his knees, clothes all mattered and torn. The kid's blonde hair was messy and lacked its usual luster, and it flowed down to his upper back, not in its signature braid. His automail was all beat up, dented and scratched. It also looked rusted.

But what shocked and hurt Roy the most was not his appearance, it was his _actions_.

Edward Elric had his automail blade slanted next to his neck, and he was _crying._

Immediately, Roy made a move towards the boy, but he was cut off by an agonized shriek.

"Stay back!" Ed shouted at the colonel, and held the blade closer to his neck. Tears poured from his eyes, which were clouded in grief and pain. His whole body was shaking, from either fear or his crying, Roy could not tell.

He took a step towards the boy. "Fullmetal, what're you—"

"I said STAY BACK!" His voice was so agonized, so hurt. He pressed the blade into his neck, making a small cut.

That alone made Roy panic.

"Edward," he spoke to the hysterical boy, trying to keep his voice calm, "why are you doing this?

"Why?" the blonde spat back. "Because I have nothing to live for! I broke my promise! He is gone because of me!" He started to shake uncontrollably, his automail slowly leaving his neck. "He's dead…and it's all my fault…" His hands wrapped around his torso while sobbing. Roy could've sworn his heart hit rock bottom.

_No, this isn't right. The Hero of the People, the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, is crying his eyes out and _trying to commit suicide _for Pete's sake. _Mustang didn't know what to think of this. It was all too much to believe. He had to calm the boy down, but it was damn near impossible without being able to get near him.

Oh well, he had to try.

Taking advantage of the boy's distraction, Roy began to slowly, yet steadily, make his way towards the mess that is Edward Elric. He was about halfway there, until Ed noticed that he was getting closer.

"I told you to stay back, bastard!" he screamed hysterically.

"Edward, please, calm down. You don't need to do this!" Roy tried to negotiate. It definitely was not working. Whatever happened and whatever decision the boy made, _it was not leaving his mind and it was not helping._

"What do you know?! You didn't watch someone close to you die! You didn't kill someone with your bare hands!" He shouted, still crying at the same time. Roy again tried to get closer.

Things seemed to go downhill from here, and there was no way up, or no bottom. It just got worse, but to no point where it couldn't get any worse.

Ed shrieked again, and this time raised his automail, pointing the blade right at his neck. Then he made the final move, and brought the blade slamming down onto his life-pumping artery.

Well, if things ever did go according to plan, that would have been what happened, but not if Roy had anything to do with it.

In that exact moment, Roy made his move. "Edward, no!" He screamed, then dove for the boy. And he did it at the right moment too. The impact sent the direction of the blade off-course. It missed, well, the artery at least. The blade cut the underside of his chin, and shot all the way up the front of his ear.

Roy wasn't sure what to do next. He would just try to kill himself again…if only he could get rid of that blade…! _That's it! I've got to get his automail off! _

Ed was immobilized, both from Roy's weight and the cut, and Roy could tell that it was going to need stitches when this was over. The colonel took this advantage to pin his automail arm on the ground. The boy began to struggle, making things more difficult than they should be. Eventually Roy had to sit on the boy's automail wrist (and _that _was no picnic) and lock the boy in his legs to keep him from using his automail and restrain his struggling.

The colonel then began frantically jumbling around the section between the automail and the port. Only Roy's luck would lead him to figure out that he didn't know how to properly remove it at this time. So, the only other option was to _break it off. _

He sighed. "Sorry Fullmetal, this is gonna hurt, but it's for your own good." The black-haired man quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out one of his ignition gloves. Ed saw him pull it over his hand, and began struggling even more.

"No! Get off me you bastard!" Roy smirked a little, glad to know even in this state of mind he was still the stubborn, foul-mouthed brat he usually is. Then, he snapped his fingers.

The flame was very small, and traveled right into the section between the arm and port. Ed screamed, voice full of pain, both emotionally and physically. Roy was hoping that the heat would make the metal more malleable, and maybe then he could easily yank the arm off.

He stood up and grabbed Fullmetal's wrist with both hands all in the same second. Then he placed his foot onto the port, and, forcefully yet gently, began pulling and bending the arm so it would loosen. Much quicker than Roy expected, the automail arm disconnected. _I hope the port didn't conduct too much heat and damage his flesh too much, _the colonel thought.

He threw the arm aside and picked up the agonized kid, holding him into a tight embrace. Ed was wailing, most likely from the burn, but Roy could care less right now. He was still alive, and that's what mattered.

"Shhh, it's okay Edward. You're safe now…" Roy spoke softly to the boy. He had to admit, this was out-of-character for him, and it sounded weird coming from his mouth, but right now he needed to swallow his damn pride and help the wounded boy in his arms. Roy then began to rub the kid's back. Ed tensed, but then allowed him to continue.

"I…i-it h-hurts…it h-hurts…" Ed stammered, still bawling.

"I know. Just calm down, it'll go away soon."

Now that the boy's wailing quieted down to soft sobbing, Roy finally noticed another man standing in the doorway of the room. The man gave him a content smile, and opened his mouth to speak, but the colonel indicated with a finger to his lips to remain silent.

After maybe another 4 minutes or so, the kid's breathing evened out, telling the other two in the room that he was asleep. Roy stood with him in his arms bridal-style.

"Well, that went well." Maes's voice broke the silence.

"And how long were you standing there?" Roy asked with a stern tone.

"Oh, you know…about the part when he started to ramble…"

"You bastard!" Roy shouted, then immediately quieted down when the sleeping boy in his arms shifted. "You bastard…! You could've helped me out the whole damn time…!"

Maes grinned. "Well, it seemed you handled it well yourself." He pointed to Ed. "Now we should probably take him to a doctor and get that cut and burn looked at."

"Yeah, right." The two men began walking out of the dorm. It was until then they hadn't noticed the lack of someone's presence in the area.

"Uh, Maes?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you see Alphonse anywhere?"

"No…that's strange…"

Both men remained silent, until they both gasped at the sudden possibility.

"Do you think…?" Maes stuttered.

"I think so…he kept yelling about how it was fault 'he' died. And he did mention that someone close to him was dead…" Roy replied with a small amount of grief in his voice.

The rest of the walk out to the car was silent.

* * *

_Well, that went well. And Roy finally found some use during a rainy day, yay!_

_Roy: *glares and rubs the cloth on his ignition gloves together*_

_Me: Uh...moving on! I hope you are enjoying the story so far! This is my first angst-y fic, so yeah. And I plan to drag this out for a while, not sure on how many chapters though...oh well._

_Please review! No, seriously. Read and review or I'll tell Ed that you called him short._

_Ed: *narrows eyes* Are you referring to my height again?_

_Me: uh...no..._

_Ed: LIAR! *jumps on top of me* I'M NOT SHORT! YOU'RE JUST FREAKISHLY TALL!_

_Me: *holds Edward back by extending my arm on his head* Uh, yeah, anyways, have a nice day!_


End file.
